I’m up to twelve so far. Almost halfway there.

Vanishing on 7th Street (2010)
Anakin Skywalker keeps running out of flashlight batteries. Croatoan. The ending was good.

The Dead (2010)
Hey, have you been reading about how the Ebola dead are resurrecting in West Africa? So this is pretty much like what it would look like if Ebola was a zombie virus. It’s set in west Africa, Sierra Leone. The zombies operate on Romero rules. Slow, cannibals, dead, stopped by a shot to the head.
The characters are capable, and don’t do anything overtly stupid. Its nice to see a zombie movie that isn’t set in the white middle-class suburbs of the United States, though the effect is ruined by making the main protagonist a white American man. This isn’t a great movie, by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s not unwatchable. Apparently there’s a sequel set in India.

 

Killer Story (2007)
Well, it’s got Joe Estevez in it. He’s like a poor man’s Gary Busey. “You’ll be a female Gene Hackman.” A character actually said that line in this movie. As a compliment. To a woman. ಠ_ಠ
I wish there was something to recommend here, but there just isn’t. The plot is asinine and transparently confessional, since both stories in this anthology are about men who are complete failures. The filmmakers apparently had never heard of “continuity” or “color correction” and they don’t have any friends in bands, judging from the atrocious casio synth score. Utterly inept on every level. This is the movie you can make if you have $10k, and you give $5k of it and a bottle of tequila to Joe Estevez for an afternoon of work.  Just terrible.

 

Final Draft (2007)
Dawson’s Creek stars in this movie as a writer who’s trying to write a story about a killer clown. I felt sympathetic to Dawson’s Creek actually; as a person who dabbles with creative writing now and again, the idea of locking yourself in a room until you finish the thing you’re working on is a familiar sentiment, one I can identify with. The story here is one of those sort of meta things. The guy is writing the screenplay and seemingly living it at the same time. The sound on the DVD release was mixed really low, sadly, but other than that, it was reasonably good.

 

MV5BMTY1NzYzNTU5Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODc2ODQ5MQ@@._V1_SX214_AL_Splinter (2008)
Best line of dialog: “It’s ok. We’re cutting your arm off.”
This is a creature feature in the best sense, and oh my, what a creature! Reminds me of that fungus that infects ants, and makes them crawl to a high spot in the tree branches, where the fungus eats through the ant body, and then releases its spores onto the forest floor, to infect more ants. It had lots of echos of The Thing and Alien Raiders. Good and scary, with a fair amount of disturbingly realistic gore. One plot complaint: it would have been easier to make an ice suit than to lower homeboy’s body temperature. Simple is the best solution. Some of the action scenes got a little shaky-cam, but I can live with that. Totally solid movie.

 

Via Dangerous Minds:

You may remember a post last week on “Apocalypse Pooh,” a fantastic little pre-Internet mash-up of Apocalypse Now and Winnie The Pooh released in 1987 through underground tape-trading circles by art student Todd Graham. Though Graham is still best-known for his prototype mash-ups, I was pleased to…

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Twin Peaks fans’ quarter-century wait is over. One of the top cult series of all time is coming back with a new limited series on Showtime from its original creators, David Lynch and Mark Frost. I’…

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Update on the October Horror Movie Challenge. I banked a few extras over the weekend. At this rate, I’ll finish up all 31 with a week to spare!

The Midnight Game (2014)

Sort of a bloody mary, candyman urban legend kind of story. It’s based on one of these creepypasta things, like slenderman. Felt very contemporary, of the present. It even contained some handy search terms in the end credits. (I looked, and it leads you to some of the creepypasta stuff about the rules of the midnight game, etc.) Cleverer than I expected. It’s solid, and I expect it’ll probably get a sequel one day. A perfectly serviceable new release.

 

Torment (2013)

Hey, did you like The Strangers, but you left the film thinking to yourself, you know what that movie needed? A ridiculous explanation about why the whole thing was happening, rather than just, “You were home.”
Then you’ll love Torment. A home-invasion sort of thing, like The Strangers, Funny Games, etc, but not as tense or scary. Unneeded exposition requires me to remove a star because it was dumb.

 

The Snowtown Murders (2011)

The story of John Bunting, Australian serial killer.
I probably would have liked this movie better if I was Australian. I couldn’t figure out why anyone did anything in this movie, nor could I discern how the characters were related to one another. It just seemed like a bunch of disconnected stuff that happened. Meh.

 

skinliveinThe Skin I Live In (2011)

A film by Pedro Almodovar, Spanish, with English subs. Stars Antonio Banderas. An absolutely original film that invoked themes of gender, madness, identity, and revenge. Conceptually fascinating, and well made. The soundtrack really stood out to me, as well as all kinds of hidden flourishes and nuance that elevated this beyond genre into the realm of Good Art. Strongly recommended.

 

The Scribbler (2014)

Girl with multiple personality disorder moves into the world’s worst halfway house, where she modifies her electroshock-at-home unit to give her magic karate powers. Lots of style, little substance. Sort of reminded me of Sucker Punch, but not nearly as imaginative. 2.5 stars, and that’s mostly because the chicks were cute.

Ok, so I’m trying the October Horror Challenge — watching 31 horror movies in October.

The caveat being they have to be ones you haven’t seen before. So far, I’ve watched two.

Oct. 1 – Man From Deep River [AKA Sacrifice! AKA Deep River Savages] (1972).

Billing itself as the “first cannibal movie”, it’s more like “How to be a dick to everybody in Thailand”. There are actually cannibals in this movie, for like 5 minutes, but you’d barely notice if you weren’t watching for it. Many animals were in fact harmed during the making of this movie. It’s also extremely sexist, racist, and fairly offensive all around. The story is basically The Last Samurai or Dances with Wolves, but not nearly as interesting. Skip this one, and check out Umberto Lenzi’s later cannibal flick, Cannibal Ferox (1981) instead.

 

sorority2

Oct. 2 – Sorority House Massacre II (1990).

This movie is exactly what you’d expected from the title. Late-80s straight to video sleaze horror. Its even in 4×3 format, so you can pretend you’re watching vhs. Five semi-cute sorority girls buy a haunted sorority house and fix it up. Almost every line of dialog in this flick is some kind of innuendo. The girls spend most of the movie either naked, changing clothes, or in lingerie. Not very scary, not very gory, lots of nudity. A tounge-in-cheek B-movie that doesn’t aspire to much more than that.

 

What should I watch this weekend?

 

Lesley the Pony goes on a fun-filled adventure through the town of Merryville while making lasting memories with his friend, The Duke.

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New Aphex Twin song dropped today. The first track from the upcoming Syro album.

So good. I really hope there’s some US tour dates. I’ve been wanting to see RDJ for years and years, and it’s never worked out.