Dont stare too long into his eyes.

Don’t stare too long into his eyes.

The tingling in my loins and radar signals creeping into my brain can mean only one thing.

X-Day is getting close! July 5th’s on it’s way!  Maybe this year is really 1998!

X-Day, for those of you that might not know, is my all-time favorite holiday. I’ve been celebrating it for years.  It’s a particular kind of liberating, to know that the world ends tomorrow and you may die. It clarifies what’s important, and washes away the trivialities of society and the “cares” of the so-called “human beings”.

X-Day has been prophecied by J.R. “Bob” Dobbs as the day that the world will end, when the dues-paying Subgeniuses will be Ruptured up by “Bob”, and the deal made aeons ago between “Bob” and the blind, idiot space god JHVH-1 will finally come to pass. X-Day is going to be on July 5th, 1998, at 7:00 AM.

Now, I hear what you’re saying — didn’t 1998 already happen?  Shouldn’t the world already have ended?  Well, to you, non-believer, I say:  “OBVIOUSLY 1998 hasn’t happened yet, or you would be dead, dead, dead.”  But I’ve got a good feeling that this is FINALLY the year!  It’s finally 1998!

The first X-Day drills happened in the western New York Subgenius breeding grounds nearly 15 years ago.  Since then, every year on July 4th (and 5th), we subgenii celebrate the impending arrival of the pleasure saucers of the sex goddesses from Planet X, and the end of this measley little planet.

Would you like a vision of what awaits you at 7:00 AM on July 5th?  Luckily, we have this video, extracted from the precognative video mines in Dobbstown, Malaysia, to illustrate exactly what to expect on this most glorious of days:

So where my Chicago Subgenius at? I know not everyone is at the “main” X-Day celebration in New York, so where’s the end-of-the-world meet up spot in the Northern Central Time Zone?  Hit me up, because I’m in like nobody’s business.

Ooh, here’s a little treat — a video of me ranting about the beauty of hate at the X-Day celebration we held in 2007 at Redlight Redlight in Orlando, FL.  Behold: