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Hey, it’s not molecular gastronomy, alright? It’s a cheap-as-dirt weeknight dinner. You know you’d eat it.

Look, let’s not lie to each other. Sometimes humans eat Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. (Kraft Dinner, if you live in a country that cares about the proper status of cheese in culture.)  But come on — it’s like a dollar a package, anyone can make it, and it fills you up.  Sure, there’s nothing even approaching real cheese that’s ever been anywhere near it.  It’s the very epitome of American low-brow cuisine, utterly unpretentious in every way.

You eat it.  You’re not proud of it, but you eat it.

It needn’t be like that; don’t be the fool who just follows the directions on the package.  Do it up right. It can be pretty good eating, if you take the time to customize it.

  • Put some real cheese in there. You know, whatever you’ve got in the fridge, just at the end when you’re mixing in the orange powder. Fresh.
  • Cut up some smoked sausage or chorizo and throw that shit in there.  Fry it first, to get all the edges nice and browned.  That’s where the flavor lives.
  • Use cream instead of milk. What, are you worried about getting fat or something?
  • Why not chop up a tomato and mix that sucker in there? I like the Roma ones, but even a can of diced tomatoes would do in a pinch.
  • Got a little bottle of liquid smoke in the fridge? Drop a few drops in, and prepare to have your mind blown.  Or hell, maybe  dash of smoked paprika and cumin. Mm mm!
  • And this is my new favorite.  Make it according to the package instructions, but then, just before you serve it, spoon in a couple of tablespoons of Mexican crema. I suppose you can use sour cream if you want, but honestly, I don’t know why anyone would buy the regular kind if you can get the Mexican version instead. It imparts an awesome, tangy, smooth creaminess that’s just fantastic.